Integration

Integration. From the root word integral means "to make a whole". Therefore, integration is the act or process of making whole. In a social context, it means the process of fitting into a community.

I am still in the process of integrating; or making a whole. In other words, merging the life that I have created in Boise Idaho up to this point, with a snap-snot experience that took place in a completely foreign land, where impressionable sensory experiences and mental re-programming, of sorts, took place. If you can, imagine putting a balloon the size of India into your pocket. And you have to get this balloon in your pocket, because at this point your life depends on it. Simply deflating it won't do, because all of it's precious air (prana, shakti if you will) that was captured from this foreign place will dissipate and be quickly forgotten. Squeezing it in there is impossible; you can try but the balloon will distort and will bounce back reminding you how big it is. The only logical option is to make a tiny hole in the balloon, and slowly let it deflate as it slips into your pocket, fitting in. That way you can capture some of its essence as it wafts by your nostrils, perhaps dance with it as you walk.

Integration is also a choice. Coming back to my homeland could be a lot easier if I just let go of that big balloon as I boarded the airplane out of Mumbai. Saving me a lot energy formulating the answers to my own questions. But that would be going against the nature of my journey there, against the nature of the balloon that was ready to inflate and expand. So, my choice on this matter was made up well before I left for India.

Talking with a good friend the other day, he said, "when we travel like that, its an obligation to come back and integrate it into life." He's talking about traveling with a purpose, traveling in a self-reflective state of mind (opposed to the sight-seeing, resort-living, Mai Tai-drinking kind of travel). I tend to agree with him. Especially when there are people that you leave back home that are supporting your journey whether it be financially, physically, or energetically. There is an unspoken obligation to bring something back other than souvenirs. However, obligation should not be confused with expectations or the act of meeting someone else expectations. In this case, it is more like an honorable act of giving and sharing knowledge from experience with not only those that spontaneously cross your path, but those who are close to you and support your path.

Needless to say, the balloon is still deflating.
(I think the balloon tried to fit in my head first...a.k.a picked up a gnarly cold upon re-entry).