Trust

To answer the question posted at the end of the last blog....

Trust begins when you're simply so tired of not trusting anymore. When you reach the threshold of mental conflict; when you start feeling motion sickness from waves of indecision; when force feeding yourself something that makes your stomach churn takes away every bit of energy to hold it down; and when your head hurts from banging it against the wall so many times. "Enough already!" Screams your real self. Once this trust sets in and starts working, it is ultimate freedom. Freedom from worry and expectations; and freedom to really experience life in its grandeur and beauty.

I have left the ashram earlier than I had planned on. For now, I will save you the lengthy reasons, realizations, and profound experiences that took place to bring me to this point (I need a few more days, possibly weeks, or months to make clear sense of it all, than I may do more posts). But generally speaking the entire experience so far is about trust, if you hadn't figured that out yet.

A quote by Krishnamurti fits nicely...

"Truth, being limitless. Unconditioned, unapproachable by any path whatsoever, cannot be organized; nor should any organization be formed to lead or to coerce people along any particular path. If an organization be created for this purpose, it becomes a crutch, a weakness, a bondage, and must cripple the individual, and prevent him from growing, from establishing his uniqueness, which lies in the discovery for himself of that absolute, unconditioned Truth."

I have discovered that, ultimately, the path to my True Self cannot be taught or shown to me, cannot be based on any other opinions, or teachings, books or hearsay. Yes, there are guides (thank you Shiva!) but my truth can only be found based on my own personal experience.